The Vows

It's hard to believe when Marc and I got married a little over a year ago, that we would already be testing those vows about a year later--through the good, the bad, and the ugly.  When we decided we wanted to try for a baby, there was no way either of our minds could have gone to the journey that would be our life a few months down the road.  We were signed up for all the classes, we were exercising, eating well, and generally creating a great living environment for our little baby girl.  But even best laid plans don't always work out and we have seen it over and over again in friends and family's life stories.  Olivia certainly had her own plans and though we were taken off guard, we could not be happier to have her in our lives.  When we got married, it was funny how easily you say the vows--yes I will love and support you through the good and bad, through sickness and in health, til death parts us.  But what happens when the bad and sickness happen much sooner than you think?

I can honestly say that I love the man I married more today (and lets be honest, in the last two months) than the day I said "I Do!"  While I was in the bed drugged up, Marc took excellent care to field calls, texts, deal with insurance, health questions, etc. all so I did not have to think about it.  Every night without fail, he was at the hospital to sleep on, what I can only imagine to be not very comfortable, hospital cot.  Though my mom and sister both offered him a night of reprieve, he diligently slept by me every night.  He supported me when I woke up at 2am crying for no good reason (yay hormones), took me for wheelchair rides through the hospital and grounds when I just needed fresh air, ate gross hospital cafeteria food, all the while getting up and working full days.  It is hard for an independent woman like myself to need help, but Marc was there often to offer the help without me asking, telling me it was okay to cry and picking up the slack in our family when I was not able to do it.  This is what marriage is about!

Marc was waking up nightly with me as I navigated the world of pumping until I figured it out.  He diligently cleans out the materials that I just leave in the sink after 3AM pumping sessions.  He snuggles me at night when I am shivering and brings me water, entertainment and whatever else I need as I spend my days (or at least what seems like all day long) pumping.  It was and is a hard road, pumping for a baby that for months (and still weeks to come) could not be fully breastfed.  But we both know and have been told over and over how great the breast milk is for preemies.  He so patiently feeds our little one her bottle.  He burps her even though he feels it is too aggressive for this tiny baby (both me and the nurses have had to tell him you have to give more than a tiny tap).

We have laughed together at our little baby making man fart noises and burping like she just downed 3 beers in a row.  We have cried over the tragedy that was our life for the first few weeks of Olivia's life--the health scares, the bad days, and just knowing that she should still be in my belly (EVEN TODAY--how crazy is that?)  The last couple of months have been nothing short of a miracle and have also been the most scary roller coaster ride that I have ever been on.  But I know for certainly, there is no one else in the world I would have wanted to do this with than you, Babe 💗  Thanks Marc for being a great husband and a wonderful father!  Olivia and I are both so lucky to have you!

Over 5 pounds, pushing toward 6!

They kept telling us that once she started gaining weight, she would just keep going and that she is!  I began a post a little over a week ago when she went past 5 pounds and as of today, she is at 5 pounds 11.4 ounces.  She is certainly beginning to look more and more like a full term baby (though all the babies I have know have been in the upper 7 pounds to 9 pounds, so she still feels little by comparison).  She is starting to outgrow her preemie clothes and is in mostly all newborn clothes!  At this rate, I am seriously hoping she will get to wear all her newborn clothes before she outgrows those too! haha

Check out my newborn outfit!

Her favorite pastimes include eating, sleeping, eating more, sleeping more, and maybe a snuggle in there too!  Though she also seems to be perfectly content being swaddled and left to chill.  As is evident by all the pictures, she has not yet gotten used to her pic line being in and constantly keeps that hand up.

She is a ninja when it comes to escaping her swaddle and we often find her like this:

She is doing such a good job with her bottle, and is now on straight breast milk for 6 of our her 8 feedings a day and then just does a calorie drink (enfamil--preemie edition) for two of her feedings.  I breastfed when we are there visiting and she has also done well with that.

Most days now, she is getting in about 60-70 mL per feeding (approximately 2 ounces), this is up from less than 15 mL at the beginning.  She is certainly enjoying more freedom with less cords and wires and is moving around and making so many more noises these days.

She is a very observant little one and when she is awake (which still is not too often), she is always looking around to see what is going on and who is talking.  She has started Physical Therapy and that is going well.  She is doing all the things they hope to see in a baby her gestational age, which is great.  She will keep up with that well after she comes home and likely to a year or more, as needed, until she catches up to a full-term baby.  They say it is anywhere from 18 months to 2 years before preemies are hitting milestones the same as their full-term baby counterparts; her nurses all think she will likely be on the earlier end of that!

Needless to say, we are pretty smitten with her...

How could you not love a face like this??


Other things of note:
* Her last eye exam still showed that her eyes were immature, so she will continue to receive those until she catches up to a full term baby
* She will have a follow up echo this week, we would love for you all to pray with us that the shadow near her heart has shrunk some, as the doctors are really looking for her body to eventually absorb that.

Thanks again for all the love and support and though my intentions are always more posts, please be patient with me as life is still very busy.  I love keeping everyone updated but after pumping 7-8 times a day, going to work, going by the hospital then getting home in just enough time for a late dinner with Marc and maybe 30 minutes to start laundry or some other chore before bed, this is often the thing that gets cut from the "to-do" list.  Maybe I will aim for shorter but more frequent posts!  We love hearing that everyone is keeping up with her and we will continue to update as often as we can!  But for now, status quo is the name of the game.

Happy New Year!

And just like that 2017 is behind us.  It was a year full of adventure for sure--a trip to Europe, our first year of marriage, a couple home renovations and a pre-term baby to boot!  Here is hoping 2018 provides us with a little bit more calmness--which is maybe a lot to ask considering we will be bringing a little bitty baby home soon enough.  The new year is always a great time to make resolutions, but its hard to even think about things to resolve to do, when I feel like Thanksgiving and Christmas just rushed by in the blink of an eye.  The days are certainly long but the time flies by.  How is that we have had a baby girl in the NICU for almost 7 weeks?   That is crazy!  Also, how is it that we have had a baby for almost 7 weeks--even crazier!  So my 2018 resolutions are simple--bring my baby girl home, soak up all the snuggles I missed, and maybe try to loose this baby weight :)

Our daughter is growing like a wildflower. I feel like we were just so excited for her to get to 4 pounds and now she is quickly approaching 5 pounds!   She is still doing wonderfully with regulating her temperature and taking her feeds.  The girl likes to eat (she might get that from her mom)!  She is killing it every time she gets to nurse also.  Our biggest struggle is her fight to decide if she wants to eat or sleep--her two favorite things!  But once she finally latches, it is hard to get her off either the breast or the bottle.  She burps like a champ, no like seriously sometimes I look at Marc to see if that was him.  I think these pictures show the difference in her weight a little bit better than numbers.  The first one is when she was 1 month on December 18th.  The second one was taken on December 31st, less than two weeks differences but look how much better she fills out her outfit!  Preemie clothes may soon be a thing of the past!

She had another Echo yesterday and the clot near her heart is the same size as before, which is the hope (well that or that it would shrink), but we have been told it can be weeks, months or even a year before the clot will be fully gone so we may be following up on that for months to come.  So though it sounds scary, it actually is not.  Most babies have clots around their heart but there is just never any kind of scan to even see that it is there, but like most things in the NICU, once it has been established, it has to be followed through on.  Her red blood cell count is also low, but again that is pretty normal as she continues to grow, she may just be growing faster than her body can make the red blood cells.  So they watch it and make sure she catches up, so hopefully she will (she did once before).  The big news this week was that her pic line got clogged so it had to be pulled so for a few days she again had to have the scalp IV (mommy's least favorite place for an IV on her precious baby), but one of her nurses was able to get the pic line back in her arm again yesterday so we are thankful for that!

Scalp IV but also look at those eyes! 

Milk drunk! 

So mainly these days, it is no news is good news as I have noticed my posts are further and further apart.  Just know we are soaking up more and more snuggles with our baby girl!  We continue to appreciate all the prayers, texts, thoughts, etc.  Though things are going well now, Olivia still has a long road ahead of her including trying to stay well during cold and flu season when she has little to no immune system.  Many many thanks! 💜

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone from our family to yours!  We sincerely hope everyone enjoyed this wonderful time of the year surrounded by friends and family.  We are especially grateful for friends and family this year, and even more so for the beautiful gift of God that made us parents.  We anticipate the day when we can bring our Olivia home in the new year!

We surprised our parents with a precious ornament of the photo shoot we did of Olivia (see above picture and the two below).  Her sweet nurse got very into it and even pulled Olivia's feeding tube out so we could get pictures of her without it in.  And then to our utter amazement, our little girl took so well to the bottle that within a few days of having the tube back in, it was pulled again and now she has been eating on her own for the past week or so all by the bottle.  Just another amazing step to bringing her home with us. 

Olivia says check me out taking my bottle like a champ.  She is most alert when we begin her bottle and slowly she starts to get tired and more tired until she is asleep shortly after finishing her bottle.  She is now offered 40 ml in each bottle and can drink as much as she wants, but she has to get at least 18 ml per feed or she would eventually get the feeding tube back.  (If she goes 3 or more feeds without getting 18 ml, they would put it back in).  So far, she is crushing the challenge and taking anywhere from 22 all the way up to the full 40 ml per feeding. So she is doing great with the bottle.

This past Friday, we were able to start trying to nurse.  She is a little unsure of this so far.  Without going into too much detail, she has to work a little harder to get the milk she wants (her bottle will drip it into her mouth if she does not suck enough), so she is slow to start, but has latched a few times and will work at it for a little bit.  We only get to try for about 10 minutes a day, because again the concern is that she would burn more calories trying to get her food than she would actually take in, so we are thankful for the times we get to try.  She seems to have the hang of nursing and our hope is that by the time she comes home, she will be much better at it.  Often it takes until 36 weeks gestation to get the hang of it.  Olivia is still just 34 weeks gestation, so she is again ahead of the curve, but this is a good reminder that she can take her time getting the hang of it.

The more we see of her face, the more and more people think she looks just like her daddy.  I think they are both so cute, so I am happy to be surrounded by all these sweet faces.  Marc and I are taking advantage of more snuggle time as she is still out of her isolette.  And in true Olivia fashion, she surpassed her 4 pound goal and she is now 4 pounds 5 ounces!  Dad is so happy about her 4 pound goal too:

It is really crazy to think that she is over a month old and was still supposed to be in my belly for the next 8ish weeks.  So we are really loving the early snuggles and anticipating the day when she gets to come home. But also super scared about that most likely being right in the middle of cold and flu season with a baby that has basically no immune system.  Marc and I are trying our best to wash hands diligently and stay well through this season of colds, as we know if either of us is sick, it means a hiatus from seeing our sweet baby girl.  If the NICU has taught us anything, it is definitely the importance of hand washing (since we have to do it for 3 minutes each time we go to see her).  hehe

And just like that, we have a one month old!

So, for the past 5 or so days, I have had a note on my phone to do a blog update, and I just have not had the time.  But I know so many people follow this, so I am hoping to get this up today.  We have hit a few milestones, since my last post a week ago.  Big news, we have a one month old daughter (and in true mom fashion, I am a few days late letting everyone know!).

Since I am loving bullet points, let's go that route:

* Olivia continues to be off CPAP and her lungs seem to be functioning great, way less dips, which is great news.

* Olivia turned 4 weeks old on Saturday, December 16th

* Then a few days later, hit her one month birthday (funny how that works out) on Monday, December 18th, we brought cupcakes to her nurses to celebrate!

1 month old!

* Olivia has been doing well with her bottle feeds.  She started with only taking about 8 mL per feed then would get the rest from her feeding tube.  But she is now doing about 20 mL to her full bottle, which is 32 mL, each time it is offered (which is about every other feed).  Mom and Dad have both got to feed her too, which is fun!

I love bottle time and snuggles with Dad!

* Why does she not get a bottle every feed?  At her age, she can actually burn more calories than she needs to, so right now, it is just offered about 3-4 times a day.  As she gets older and gets the hang of it, we will move to more frequent feedings with the bottle and then eventually try nursing.

* She is now 33 weeks gestation and if you read the last post, you can see the strides she has made in just one week.

Check out me in this outfit last post, look how much better I fill it out now!

* Olivia moved to an open crib yesterday, so no more isolette.  She is doing a good enough job regulating her body temperature that they moved her to a crib with no top.  She does get double the blankets swaddled around her now though, just to give her some help and a snazzy hat on all the time.

Check out my new Crib!

* Starting today, Olivia is off caffeine as well, this is often given to preemie babies to help stimulate lung and brain function.  As she continued to grow, they kept her level the same (so she would eventually outgrown the dosage) and it was determined that she did not need it anymore, so she will now no longer get it.

* Her MRSA culture remains negative!  YAY

Big Miracles, Small Package, thanks for the onesie "Auntie" Sara!

* She did have a clot near her heart, which showed up on her ECHO, but her second ECHO showed no change in the size of it.  The doctors all say clots near the heart of babies are common and most absorb them on their own.  However, since she had the infection, their fear is that some bacteria got into the clot, so just to be on safe the side, they are continuing her antibiotics for a total of 6 weeks from the negative culture (which was pulled on December 7th), so assuming everything stays the same, she should go off antibiotics around January 18th.  Thus, she will not be home before that date, at which point she will be around 37 weeks gestation (or a few days after).

* Big News, she is nearing 4 pounds now!  She is hoovering right on the edge so we are hoping by Christmas she hits that milestone!

Christmas hat was made by one of the nurses grandma's--how precious!

Milk Coma!  She is happiest after she eats, she sure gets this honestly from both mom and dad!

We so appreciate all the prayers still, we have been so blessed with meals, gifts, gift cards, love and support from so many people and we go to bed every night realizing how blessed we are with so many great friends and family around to support us!  So thank you all!

32 weeks

First things first, I have updated the URL for the blog, so if you have bookmarked the page, please make sure to update it.  It is actually slightly easier to remember now: https://schinkelfamily.blogspot.com/

Now that that is out of the way, our little girl is 32 weeks gestation as of yesterday.  This is a milestone for an important reason and that is that starting at 32 weeks gestation, babies begin to develop the ability to not only suck (which she has been doing for weeks), but also swallow.  So that means that she can beginning attempting food from bottles or breast versus just her feeding tube.  This is sort of touch and go from 32-34 weeks, when it should be fully developed.  But we got to watch her nurse yesterday feed her 12 ml of breast milk from her bottle and it was awesome to see her drink it down well.  So hopefully she will continue to do that and we can keep adding to her bottle feds so she can hopefully have the tube removed in the next two weeks sometime.  (Note: people are always asking us for pictures of her in relation to something else to get a perspective of her size, I think these are a good reference, knowing that our nurse that is feeding her is a lady of normal size, so those hands are a woman's hands).

Even little babies get burped

Since the last post a lot has happened, so let's do a few bullet points:
* After the last post (which went up on Saturday), she went back on CPAP on Sunday and stopped regulating her temperature, so she was given a break from both for a day.
* Then on Monday we came back and she was back off CPAP again (and has remained off the last two days), and they have started trying her again to regulate her body temperature
* Her body temperature regulation is a milestone that she really should not hit until closer to 4 pounds, so we fully intend to have some up and down days with this one (the best way to tell where she is with that is with the pictures, if she has clothes on, then she is attempting to regulate her own body temperature, when she just has a diaper on then the isolette is regulating the temperature for her)

Our little diva with her hands all over the place saying please mom and dad, don't take my picture!

Look at my cute outfit!  This outfit is a preemie outfit and still a little big on her!

* She is up to 3 pounds 6 oz.  She was there on Monday, but had some swelling from the antibiotics, so they gave her a diuretic to reduce the fluid and thus the swelling, when they did that she lost about 2 ounces yesterday, but then gained it right back in a day, so we are pleased with that.
* She seems to be gaining weight at a rate of anywhere from 0.8 ounces to 2 ounces each day, so she is doing awesome!
* Olivia is up to 28 mL feedings per session (every 3 hours), this is almost a full ounce of breast milk and she gets it about 8 times a day.
* BEST NEWS OF THE WEEK: Her culture that was drawn went the full 5 days without growth, so they officially consider her to be infection free; however, they watch it and treat for at least another 9 days (maybe longer). But we are very thankful to see her moving in the right direction.
* I will leave you with my favorite pictures, the mommy snuggles 💜💜

"Are you my Mother"

Happy 3 weeks, Olivia!

For 21 days now, I have been a mom; this is CRAZY!  How is our sweet baby 3 weeks already?  To celebrate her 3 weeks of life, she finally passed her three pound mark and then decided she should fly right past it, so she is now up to 3lbs 4 oz. (or exactly 1 pound more than her birth weight).  Which means that in 3 short weeks our little girl has grown by 40%, INSANE!  If you read my last post you know that they found growth on her culture after the 48 hour mark, which we later found out was actually at hour 64, so though it is not great, it is much better than the first culture on antibiotics which showed growth after 19 hours, so we are considering it a win still.  It seems it is still the MRSA and it is just taking her body a little time to get rid of it, but her other progress is very promising, in that, her actions, other labs and overall personality is much better so they are continuing to treat as is and will continue on the antibiotics for the 14 days after the negative culture still (which we hope will be soon).  Her Echo did not show anything abnormal, per say, there was a shadow on one of the films, which is likely just a problem with the scan, so they may do another echo in a few days just to be sure.  In other news, Olivia is still off CPAP and has been for days now so that is really good progress.  She also is having less and less drops, which is great news.  And as of Friday, she is now sporting clothes because they are trying to see if she can regulate her own body temperature in her isolette.  So overall, we have enjoyed a week of good progress.

And because we love milestones, here are some fun ones:

Dad gets to take Olivia's temperature for the first time!

Dad changing her diaper for the first time (and since she pooped not long after, he got to change it for the second time too!)

More mommy snuggles!

Look at me, in clothes!  Trying to keep my body warm enough :)

And not to be outdone by all of Olivia's progress, the weather decided to make her 3 week birthday special and Olivia already got to have her first snowfall (on December 8th in Richmond--this really never happens)....

Lastly, I was lucky enough to be showered with love and support today by family and some friends as my mom and sister hosted a baby shower for me.  So we have spent the evening unpacking some fun gifts in Olivia's nursery.  It makes it so much more exciting for the day when she gets to come home and be in her new room!

As always we are thankful for the love, support and prayers from all over.  Please keep them coming, we know this is a marathon and we may encounter more hurdles before we bring her home, but we are praising God in the good and are ever more hopeful for the future. 💜