Visiting Olivia--the Rules!

We have enjoyed some time as a family of 3 to adjust to our new normal, so we appreciate you allowing us the freedom to do that.  As time continues to go on, we are sure people will want to stop in to visit Olivia, and because of her prematurity that comes with certain challenges.  So though we would love for everyone to come and see her right away, we are probably going to limit visitors for awhile to close friends and family.  Among the pages of follow up appointments and instructions for her discharge from the NICU, we were also warned of the dangers of having too many people around her especially in these first few months.  We have been told no Target runs, grocery store trips, church or church activities, or really any gatherings with a large number of people present.  Basically Olivia is on house arrest until early June, the exception to that being her doctors visits (and boy does she have a lot--7 in the first three weeks of her being home in fact).

As you probably know newborn babies have little to no immune system and in a full term baby, their immune system will begin to develop around three months of age.  In Olivia's case that is much longer and with RSV and this deadly flu season, we are not taking any chances.  Because Olivia's lungs were underdeveloped, she is more susceptible to respiratory problems.  Interestingly enough, most babies contract RSV by the age two, however in full term babies (or even adults) the symptoms are similar to those of the common cold, but since preemies (especially those born before 30 weeks) don't have the antibodies to fight off the infection, they often require hospitalization and in serious cases, it can mean death.  The last thing we want is for our little girl who has already had to fight so hard in life so far to end up back at the hospital or worse.  So though you may think you just have a silly cough or cold, it could be much more dangerous to Olivia. 

As I have mentioned in the past we are looking past weeks for Olivia to catch up to her full-term counterparts (though she is starting to fill out more and put on weight, it does seem she is caught up to "normal"), it is more like months or years and that is particularly true when it comes to antibodies. I am in a NICU mom's support group on Facebook and everyone has their own timeline for visitors, most everyone erring on the side of caution, some not allowing anyone, even grandparents, in to see their babies for months.  Though we believe, less visitors is better, we still want to keep the option open for some close friends and family to stop in.  The main concern is that each person that comes to visit Olivia carries with them germs from every other person they have come in contact with recently.  So say you work in a large office building, it is likely a number of the people there have been out with colds and even the flu in the last week, so just cause you may not have symptoms does not mean you are not carrying something from someone else.  As such, we have decided on the follow rules for visiting Olivia:

1. Wash hands for 1 minute when you arrive and frequently during your time in our house, we have been told repeatedly this is the BEST way to prevent the spread of germs.

2. We ask you to not visit if you are sick, or have been sick with a cold.  Please wait a full week of being symptom free before coming over.

3. If you have had the Flu or RSV, our doctor suggests a two month wait to visit. (And no, he was not kidding, I double checked to be sure). 

4. We ask you to not visit if you have had close contact with someone who has been sick in the last 4 days.

5. If you smoke, you would need to shower and change clothes before coming over and not smoke before or during the visit here.  Again, Olivia's lungs are sensitive and especially so to smoke.

6. We ask that only adults visit, leaving children at home until Olivia is a little bit bigger.

7. We will limit visitors to no more than two sets per day, as Olivia still needs lots of down time and too much stimulation is not ideal for preemies.

Remember, a little cold for you or me can be a big threat to Olivia.  In addition to the above, it is important to remember that Olivia'a main goals are growing and resting, so it may not always be feasible to hold her when you visit and it is best to keep visits short and sweet especially in the first few months.  We do hope that by late May/early June, most of these rules will not apply as much.  We so appreciate you all working with us to ensure Olivia has a quiet, clean environment to continue to grow healthily. 

If you are interested in more reading, here are a few great articles:

https://www.reallyareyouserious.com/rsv-and-world-prematurity-awareness-day/

http://www.preemiebabies101.com/rsv-101-every-parent-needs-know/

When you are a NICU Mom...

I found this blog post from another NICU mom, but it rang so true that I am copying and pasting here (again, these are not my words, but most all of them apply to the way I felt/fell from day to day, I thought it was worth sharing), for the original post, you can click here.

When you are a NICU Mom…

·         The ring of the telephone makes your heart jump in your throat

·         You never stop worrying

·         You cry when you get bad news, you cry when you get good news, and you cry when you get no news at all

When you are a NICU Mom…

·         You have to wait hours, days, weeks to hold, or even touch your baby

·         You don’t get to dress your baby in all those adorable onesies

·         Instead, you take vitals, do cares, and stick your hands through holes in a glass box to touch your precious baby

·         You carefully move wires, arrange chairs, and sit still for hours with your tiny baby tucked into your sports bra when you are finally allowed skin to skin contact

When you are a NICU Mom…

·         You are afraid to touch your own, teeny, tiny baby

·         You are afraid to let go of your own teeny, tiny baby

·         You are afraid to get too attached to that sweet face who already has your whole heart

·         You are afraid your baby isn’t getting attached enough to you, since you can’t be there every minute of every day, and someone else takes care of them too

When you are a NICU Mom

·         Your heart is always in two places at the same time

·         When you are at the hospital, it’s impossible to leave

·         When you are at home, it’s impossible to leave your other children/husband/family members

·         Guilt, happiness, sadness, and fear are on constant rotation

·         You lose friends because you can’t relate anymore

·         You find true friends that stick by you when you are at your worst

When you are a NICU Mom…

·         The hallway you must walk to get to your baby seems like it goes on forever

·         You need to be buzzed in to see your baby, and you must use a code when you call in to find out how they are doing

·         Your hands are so dry and cracked from washing them, no amount of lotion helps

·         The smell of hand sanitizer makes you sick

·         You know more medical terms and acronyms than you ever wanted to

·         You hear those beeps from all the machines even when you’re at home

·         The oscillating ventilator is one of the scariest things you’ve ever seen

·         Night time and times when you are alone are the worst

When you are a NICU Mom

·         You leave the hospital so many times without your baby, when you finally get your discharge orders, you don’t really believe it.

·         You feel unprepared to take care of your tiny baby at home, even though you’ve been doing it in the hospital for many days, weeks, months

·         You wonder if you can smuggle one of those monitors out or bring one of the nurses home with you

·         You are scared of anything and everything that might land you back in the hospital because you don’t think you can do it again

When you are a NICU Mom

·         You don’t feel strong, but you are

·         You don’t feel capable of making decisions, but you do the best you can

·         You don’t think you can make it through, but you will

·         You feel alone, but you are not

The first week home

Olivia, Mom and Dad are all adjusting to life at home.  It is certainly different having a newborn in the NICU versus at home, mainly in the sleep category.  A token attribute of preemies is that they make a lot more noises than full term baby counterparts, so at night, she is rarely quiet.  Which is good when you are sitting up awake at 3 am wondering if she is still breathing, but not so great when you are actually trying to sleep.  Needless to say, the adjustment, though awesome, has not been trouble free, as I am sure all first time moms feel.  We are slowly getting the hang of this parenting thing and are certainly enjoying the snuggles along the way (after 2 long months of limited baby snuggles, it feels right to soak them up now). 

Here are a few of our highlights in pictures:

Olivia's first car ride home!

Whether it is PTSD from that dang pic line or just cause she likes to raise 'em and praise 'em, we often find our little one with her arm up by her face and above her head (she would always keep her right arm up when she had the pic line in it):

Olivia's first time cheering on the VCU Rams!

Olivia's first bath at home!

Olivia celebrated her 2 month birthday on the day she was discharged!

Olivia adjusting to getting changed on a changing table versus in her crib in the NICU

Daddy's girl, enough said!

As stated we have been getting lots and lots of snuggles.  Our favorite time of day is morning time.  Whichever one of us gets up with Olivia after feeding her and changing her, then we all snuggle for a bit in our bed (I snapped this one while they both slept--like father like daughter, but no worries, one of us is always monitoring her amidst those pillows and sheets):

First Family Photo (this is a cheat cause our NICU nurse actually took it while she was still in the NICU but preparing to go home):

Olivia meeting one of her fur brothers!

And as a simple reminder of how far we have come.  Here is a comparison photo I did of Olivia in her first week of life to 2 months old:

Welcome Home!

Olivia decided that she wanted to celebrate her two month birthday watching the Rams play with Mom & Dad at home, so we all happily obliged.  After two VERY long (yet somehow also very short) months in the NICU, our baby girl is now home with us! 

We appreciate all the love, prayers and support over the last two months, and would still appreciate them going forward as Olivia's journey is far from over.  We also appreciate a little space to adjust to a family of three at home and will be happy to let you all know when we are ready to expect visitors, (we wanted to make sure to reserve the first spots to grandparents and siblings).

And yes those are bags under my eyes cause I have been staring at our baby girl all night to make sure she does not stop breathing.  I imagine this gets easier over time, either that or exhaustion just takes over.

The Vows

It's hard to believe when Marc and I got married a little over a year ago, that we would already be testing those vows about a year later--through the good, the bad, and the ugly.  When we decided we wanted to try for a baby, there was no way either of our minds could have gone to the journey that would be our life a few months down the road.  We were signed up for all the classes, we were exercising, eating well, and generally creating a great living environment for our little baby girl.  But even best laid plans don't always work out and we have seen it over and over again in friends and family's life stories.  Olivia certainly had her own plans and though we were taken off guard, we could not be happier to have her in our lives.  When we got married, it was funny how easily you say the vows--yes I will love and support you through the good and bad, through sickness and in health, til death parts us.  But what happens when the bad and sickness happen much sooner than you think?

I can honestly say that I love the man I married more today (and lets be honest, in the last two months) than the day I said "I Do!"  While I was in the bed drugged up, Marc took excellent care to field calls, texts, deal with insurance, health questions, etc. all so I did not have to think about it.  Every night without fail, he was at the hospital to sleep on, what I can only imagine to be not very comfortable, hospital cot.  Though my mom and sister both offered him a night of reprieve, he diligently slept by me every night.  He supported me when I woke up at 2am crying for no good reason (yay hormones), took me for wheelchair rides through the hospital and grounds when I just needed fresh air, ate gross hospital cafeteria food, all the while getting up and working full days.  It is hard for an independent woman like myself to need help, but Marc was there often to offer the help without me asking, telling me it was okay to cry and picking up the slack in our family when I was not able to do it.  This is what marriage is about!

Marc was waking up nightly with me as I navigated the world of pumping until I figured it out.  He diligently cleans out the materials that I just leave in the sink after 3AM pumping sessions.  He snuggles me at night when I am shivering and brings me water, entertainment and whatever else I need as I spend my days (or at least what seems like all day long) pumping.  It was and is a hard road, pumping for a baby that for months (and still weeks to come) could not be fully breastfed.  But we both know and have been told over and over how great the breast milk is for preemies.  He so patiently feeds our little one her bottle.  He burps her even though he feels it is too aggressive for this tiny baby (both me and the nurses have had to tell him you have to give more than a tiny tap).

We have laughed together at our little baby making man fart noises and burping like she just downed 3 beers in a row.  We have cried over the tragedy that was our life for the first few weeks of Olivia's life--the health scares, the bad days, and just knowing that she should still be in my belly (EVEN TODAY--how crazy is that?)  The last couple of months have been nothing short of a miracle and have also been the most scary roller coaster ride that I have ever been on.  But I know for certainly, there is no one else in the world I would have wanted to do this with than you, Babe 💗  Thanks Marc for being a great husband and a wonderful father!  Olivia and I are both so lucky to have you!

Over 5 pounds, pushing toward 6!

They kept telling us that once she started gaining weight, she would just keep going and that she is!  I began a post a little over a week ago when she went past 5 pounds and as of today, she is at 5 pounds 11.4 ounces.  She is certainly beginning to look more and more like a full term baby (though all the babies I have know have been in the upper 7 pounds to 9 pounds, so she still feels little by comparison).  She is starting to outgrow her preemie clothes and is in mostly all newborn clothes!  At this rate, I am seriously hoping she will get to wear all her newborn clothes before she outgrows those too! haha

Check out my newborn outfit!

Her favorite pastimes include eating, sleeping, eating more, sleeping more, and maybe a snuggle in there too!  Though she also seems to be perfectly content being swaddled and left to chill.  As is evident by all the pictures, she has not yet gotten used to her pic line being in and constantly keeps that hand up.

She is a ninja when it comes to escaping her swaddle and we often find her like this:

She is doing such a good job with her bottle, and is now on straight breast milk for 6 of our her 8 feedings a day and then just does a calorie drink (enfamil--preemie edition) for two of her feedings.  I breastfed when we are there visiting and she has also done well with that.

Most days now, she is getting in about 60-70 mL per feeding (approximately 2 ounces), this is up from less than 15 mL at the beginning.  She is certainly enjoying more freedom with less cords and wires and is moving around and making so many more noises these days.

She is a very observant little one and when she is awake (which still is not too often), she is always looking around to see what is going on and who is talking.  She has started Physical Therapy and that is going well.  She is doing all the things they hope to see in a baby her gestational age, which is great.  She will keep up with that well after she comes home and likely to a year or more, as needed, until she catches up to a full-term baby.  They say it is anywhere from 18 months to 2 years before preemies are hitting milestones the same as their full-term baby counterparts; her nurses all think she will likely be on the earlier end of that!

Needless to say, we are pretty smitten with her...

How could you not love a face like this??


Other things of note:
* Her last eye exam still showed that her eyes were immature, so she will continue to receive those until she catches up to a full term baby
* She will have a follow up echo this week, we would love for you all to pray with us that the shadow near her heart has shrunk some, as the doctors are really looking for her body to eventually absorb that.

Thanks again for all the love and support and though my intentions are always more posts, please be patient with me as life is still very busy.  I love keeping everyone updated but after pumping 7-8 times a day, going to work, going by the hospital then getting home in just enough time for a late dinner with Marc and maybe 30 minutes to start laundry or some other chore before bed, this is often the thing that gets cut from the "to-do" list.  Maybe I will aim for shorter but more frequent posts!  We love hearing that everyone is keeping up with her and we will continue to update as often as we can!  But for now, status quo is the name of the game.

Happy New Year!

And just like that 2017 is behind us.  It was a year full of adventure for sure--a trip to Europe, our first year of marriage, a couple home renovations and a pre-term baby to boot!  Here is hoping 2018 provides us with a little bit more calmness--which is maybe a lot to ask considering we will be bringing a little bitty baby home soon enough.  The new year is always a great time to make resolutions, but its hard to even think about things to resolve to do, when I feel like Thanksgiving and Christmas just rushed by in the blink of an eye.  The days are certainly long but the time flies by.  How is that we have had a baby girl in the NICU for almost 7 weeks?   That is crazy!  Also, how is it that we have had a baby for almost 7 weeks--even crazier!  So my 2018 resolutions are simple--bring my baby girl home, soak up all the snuggles I missed, and maybe try to loose this baby weight :)

Our daughter is growing like a wildflower. I feel like we were just so excited for her to get to 4 pounds and now she is quickly approaching 5 pounds!   She is still doing wonderfully with regulating her temperature and taking her feeds.  The girl likes to eat (she might get that from her mom)!  She is killing it every time she gets to nurse also.  Our biggest struggle is her fight to decide if she wants to eat or sleep--her two favorite things!  But once she finally latches, it is hard to get her off either the breast or the bottle.  She burps like a champ, no like seriously sometimes I look at Marc to see if that was him.  I think these pictures show the difference in her weight a little bit better than numbers.  The first one is when she was 1 month on December 18th.  The second one was taken on December 31st, less than two weeks differences but look how much better she fills out her outfit!  Preemie clothes may soon be a thing of the past!

She had another Echo yesterday and the clot near her heart is the same size as before, which is the hope (well that or that it would shrink), but we have been told it can be weeks, months or even a year before the clot will be fully gone so we may be following up on that for months to come.  So though it sounds scary, it actually is not.  Most babies have clots around their heart but there is just never any kind of scan to even see that it is there, but like most things in the NICU, once it has been established, it has to be followed through on.  Her red blood cell count is also low, but again that is pretty normal as she continues to grow, she may just be growing faster than her body can make the red blood cells.  So they watch it and make sure she catches up, so hopefully she will (she did once before).  The big news this week was that her pic line got clogged so it had to be pulled so for a few days she again had to have the scalp IV (mommy's least favorite place for an IV on her precious baby), but one of her nurses was able to get the pic line back in her arm again yesterday so we are thankful for that!

Scalp IV but also look at those eyes! 

Milk drunk! 

So mainly these days, it is no news is good news as I have noticed my posts are further and further apart.  Just know we are soaking up more and more snuggles with our baby girl!  We continue to appreciate all the prayers, texts, thoughts, etc.  Though things are going well now, Olivia still has a long road ahead of her including trying to stay well during cold and flu season when she has little to no immune system.  Many many thanks! 💜