When you are a NICU Mom...

I found this blog post from another NICU mom, but it rang so true that I am copying and pasting here (again, these are not my words, but most all of them apply to the way I felt/fell from day to day, I thought it was worth sharing), for the original post, you can click here.

When you are a NICU Mom…

·         The ring of the telephone makes your heart jump in your throat

·         You never stop worrying

·         You cry when you get bad news, you cry when you get good news, and you cry when you get no news at all

When you are a NICU Mom…

·         You have to wait hours, days, weeks to hold, or even touch your baby

·         You don’t get to dress your baby in all those adorable onesies

·         Instead, you take vitals, do cares, and stick your hands through holes in a glass box to touch your precious baby

·         You carefully move wires, arrange chairs, and sit still for hours with your tiny baby tucked into your sports bra when you are finally allowed skin to skin contact

When you are a NICU Mom…

·         You are afraid to touch your own, teeny, tiny baby

·         You are afraid to let go of your own teeny, tiny baby

·         You are afraid to get too attached to that sweet face who already has your whole heart

·         You are afraid your baby isn’t getting attached enough to you, since you can’t be there every minute of every day, and someone else takes care of them too

When you are a NICU Mom

·         Your heart is always in two places at the same time

·         When you are at the hospital, it’s impossible to leave

·         When you are at home, it’s impossible to leave your other children/husband/family members

·         Guilt, happiness, sadness, and fear are on constant rotation

·         You lose friends because you can’t relate anymore

·         You find true friends that stick by you when you are at your worst

When you are a NICU Mom…

·         The hallway you must walk to get to your baby seems like it goes on forever

·         You need to be buzzed in to see your baby, and you must use a code when you call in to find out how they are doing

·         Your hands are so dry and cracked from washing them, no amount of lotion helps

·         The smell of hand sanitizer makes you sick

·         You know more medical terms and acronyms than you ever wanted to

·         You hear those beeps from all the machines even when you’re at home

·         The oscillating ventilator is one of the scariest things you’ve ever seen

·         Night time and times when you are alone are the worst

When you are a NICU Mom

·         You leave the hospital so many times without your baby, when you finally get your discharge orders, you don’t really believe it.

·         You feel unprepared to take care of your tiny baby at home, even though you’ve been doing it in the hospital for many days, weeks, months

·         You wonder if you can smuggle one of those monitors out or bring one of the nurses home with you

·         You are scared of anything and everything that might land you back in the hospital because you don’t think you can do it again

When you are a NICU Mom

·         You don’t feel strong, but you are

·         You don’t feel capable of making decisions, but you do the best you can

·         You don’t think you can make it through, but you will

·         You feel alone, but you are not